A lawyer, laying on his deathbed in his bedroom, called to his wife and told her to run and get the Bible as soon as possible. Being a religious woman, she thought this was a good idea, so she ran and got it.
As soon as she returned with the Bible, the lawyer snatched it from her and began quickly scanning pages, his eyes darting left and right. Curious, his wife asked, "What are you doing, honey?"
"I'm looking for loopholes!" he shouted.

Bob dies. He goes up to Heaven and is getting the big tour by St. Peter. As they're walking around, Bob notices a big wall that stretches as far as the eye can see. So, he asks St. Peter about it. "Never, ever, look over that wall. You will be punished severely," the Saint says. So Bob stays in Heaven for a while, never once looking over the wall. Until one day when he can't take it anymore. He climbs to the top and looks around. On the other side, there are a simply a group of people going about their Heavenly business. Puzzled, Bob returns to St. Peter. "Ok, don't freak out or anything, but I looked over the wall. What’s up with the people?" Frantic, St. Peter says: "They didn't see you did they???" Bob shakes his head, no. St. Peter then replies, "Oh good! Because that’s where the Mormon's are and they think they're the only one's up here!"

A sister and a brother in a rather religious and patriotic family were playing together, and their words were overhead by their parents. The boy recited at the end of a mock church service, “ In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost-“
The girl continued in a strong voice, “- and the Republic for which it stands.”

Two Irish guys were sitting at a bar having a drink and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of the guys said, “Aye, ‘tis a shame to see a man of the cloth going’ bad.” Then they saw a rabbi enter to brother, and the other Irish guy said, “Aye, ‘tis a shame to see that the Jews are falling victim to temptation as well.” Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one to the guys said, “What a terrible pity….. one of the girls must be dying.”