The old farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge to the pigpen when his wife longingly recalled that the next week would be their golden wedding anniversary. “Let’s have a party, Joe,” she said. “Let’s kill the pig.”
Joe scratched his head. “Gee, Philomena,” he finally said, “I don’t see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago.”

After a fall out, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you. “And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”

Joe is frustrated with his marriage, and one day he starts packing a suitcase.
His wife says, “What are you doing?” He says, “I’m going to Australia. I hear the women there pay men $50 a pop just to bang them.” His wife starts packing a suitcase too. Joe says, “What are you doing?” She replies, “I’m coming with you. I want to see how you’re gonna live on hundred bucks a month.”

A man worked hard all day digging the garden and felt very stiff and sore. His wife fluttered about him, pleased with the amount of work he had done and anxious to get him to do some more. “Have a nice soak in the bath and I'll bring you a drink," she suggested smiling. “Good idea," says the husband looking forward to being waited on. He’s in the bath when she comes in with a nice glass of Scotch which he accepts happily. “If there's anything else you'd like just call," says the wife as she leaves the bathroom. When she got halfway along the landing the husband relaxes completely and lets off an enormous long fart in the bath. A few minutes later, despite it being a very warm summer’s evening, the wife comes in with a fluffy bed warmer “What the heck is that for?" asks the husband snappily. "Oh Darling," says the wife, flustered, "I thought I heard you say, "Whataboutahottawaterbottle."