Mister Bush has a problem on his hands... The USA is short on condom supplies, so Mr. Bush calls the prime minister of Canada and asks for a shipment of 1 million blue and red condoms size 10 by 4 inches? (Which is really big). The prime minister says no problem he gets in touch with the CEO of Durex and relays the big favor, and adds a little request of his own. He says, would you print on each wrapping “Made in Canada, Size Medium”

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year- old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"
Bob replies, “Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They're amazed, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"
"I lied about my age", Bob replies.
"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

Q. What's the most famous coffee in Afghanistan?
A. Osama bin Latte.

While strolling down Hollywood Boulevard at night, a guy felt a gun pressed to the base of his head. “Gimme your money or I blow your brains out,” a voice snarled from behind. Without missing beat the guy said, “Go ahead ad shoot. In Hollywood you can live without a brain, but not without money.”