A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette
with a satisfied smile on it's face.

The egg, looking very hacked off, grabs the quilt, rolls over
and says: "Well we finally answered THAT question!"

There was a dog that lay on its back every night and it snored, and the owners were really bothered by it. The owner was at the hairdressers and told her about the dog. The hairdresser suggested to tie a piece of blue ribbon around the dog's balls. She did so and the dog stopped snoring immediately. Days later her husband came in drunk got in bed and started snoring, so the lady went to her sewing basket but she couldn't find a blue ribbon, so she went for the red ribbon. She tied it around the husband's balls and he stopped snoring too. The next morning, the husband walked into the living room where the dog was lying on the floor with the blue ribbon on. The man looked down and he realized he had a red ribbon. He said to the dog, "I don't know what happened last night, but you came first and I got second!"

Q: Why is a squirrel the dumbest animal?
A: It carries its nuts in its mouth!

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".

"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"

"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert", the camel mother answers.

"Thanks Mom" replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."

"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but... Mom?"

"Yes son?"

"Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?"