There were three brothers who moved to a town. They all saw this beautiful girl and decided that they would each take her on a date and that she would pick whichever one she liked the most.

The next brother went up to the door and the father answered it again. He said," Hi I'm Steve, were going for Chinese, is she ready to leave." so they went on the date.

The first one went to her house and her father answered the door. The young man said,” Hello my name is Eddie, I'm taking her for spaghetti, is she ready?" So they went on the date.

Finally, the third brother went to pick her up for their date and once again the father answered the door. He said,"Hi, I'm Tucker" and the farmer shot him on the spot.

A New York family bought a ranch out west where they intended to raise cattle. Friends came to visit and asked if the ranch had a name.
"Well," said the would-be-cattleman. "I wanted to call it the Bar-J, my wife favored the Suzy-Q, one son liked the Flying-W, and the other son wanted the Lazy-Y. So, we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy_Y."
"But, where are all your cattle?"
"None have survived the branding."

A city boy driving through the country passes a chicken farm and he is doing 55 mph.
A chicken runs by and passes him inside of his fenced in field. He thinks wow that is amazing. He stops and pulls into the barnyard where he sees the farmer. He said to the farmer " I was driving along the road out there and one of your chickens passed me in my car." The farmer replies, " I know, I raise chickens and never seem to have enough chicken legs for the poultry plant, so I have genetically produced a chicken with three legs." The city boy replies, "wow that is fantastic, you ought to be rich now. How do they taste?" The farmer replies " Don't know, never been able to catch one!"

A farmer has a rooster that goes around screwing all the animals in the barnyard. The rooster keeps this up for quite a while before the farmer finally pulls him aside and warns him. “Look,” the farmer says, ”you had better take it a little easier or you’re liable to screw yourself to death.” The rooster just laughs at the farmer and goes out and has all the chickens in the chicken coop. He then goes through all the cows, then the pigs, and so on, until he as been with all the animals on the farm. He keeps this up every day for weeks. Then one day the farmer doesn’t see the rooster around the barnyard, so he goes looking for him. Out above one of his fields, the farmer sees some vultures circling around and around. The farmer runs out and sees the rooster lying spread-eagle on the ground. “I knew it!” says the farmer. “I knew this would happen to you! Oh, why didn’t you listen to me when I warned you?” The rooster opens one eye, point upward, and says, “Shhh. They are getting lower.”