One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the
pastor of a small Florida church found a pink envelope containing $1000.? It
happened again the next week.? The following Sunday, he watched as
the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the
distinctive pink envelope in the plate.? This went on for weeks until the
pastor, overcome by curiosity, approached her.
"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in
the collection plate," he stated.
"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I
give some of it to the church."
The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"
The old lady said, "$10,000 a week."
The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful. What does
he do for a living?"
"He is a veterinarian," she answered.
"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he
practice?"
The old lady said proudly, "In Nevada....He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."

An elephant ran away from a zoo one day and ended up in a little old lady’s back garden. The old lady had never seen an elephant before so she called the police.
"There’s a strange looking animal in my back garden picking up cabbages with its tail" she said to the policeman who answered the phone.
"What’s it doing with them”?
"If I told you" said the old lady, "you'd never believe me!"

An elderly couple visits the doctor so the wife who is feeling poorly gets a checkup.
The old man waits in the waiting room while the old lady is in the examining room.
After a complete exam, the doctor brings the old woman into his office to ask her a few questions. “How are you sleeping?” he asks.
“I get eight hours of sleep,” says the woman, “and sometimes I wake up to go the bathroom, but I have no problem falling back to sleep. Occasionally I take a 30 minutes nap in the afternoon, but all in all, I sleep just fine.”
“How is your diet?” asks the doctor.
“I have three well-balanced meals a day,” says the woman. “Sometimes I have a light snack between lunch and dinner, but I eat very well.”
“Do you still have intercourse?” asks the doctor.
“What?” replies the old lady.
“Intercourse,” says the doctor. “Do you still have intercourse?”
The old woman get up out of her chair and opens the door to the waiting room and asks her husband, “Honey, do we have intercourse?”
The old man looks at her and says, “I have told you a thousand times, it’s Blue Cross Blue Shield!”

There was an elderly couple considering living together, rather than getting married.
The woman was concerned about sharing the same bed.
She asked her friend " well, what about sex?"
The man replied "infrequently"
The woman thought for a moment, then asked" Is that one word or two?"