Q: Where are the male organs of an elephant?
A: On his feet.
Reason: If he steps on you, you're screwed.

Bill runs into his brother at the neighborhood pub looking quite dejected.
Bill asks him what's wrong.
His brother Tim replies that he caught his wife and best friend in bed together.
Bill asks him what did he do?
Tim says I told my wife to pack up and get out.
What did you say to your best friend, Bill asks?
I said bad, bad dog.

An eagle was perched in a tree and was watching the skies for a partner. Soon a lark flew past, and suddenly there was lots of squawking and the flurry of feathers. Finally, the lark emerged from the tree and said, "I'm a lark, and I've been sparked." Later, a dove flew past the same tree. Again there was squawking and feathers flying. Moments later the dove emerged from the tree and said, "I'm a dove, and I've been loved." Still unsatisfied, the eagle waited for more bird life. Soon a duck flew by. Again there was more squawking and feathers in the air. Finally the duck emerged and said, "I'm a drake and there's been a terrible mistake!"

There was once a bull; his name was Billy big balls. Anyway Billy lived on a farm all by himself and was really lonely until one day a man was walking by the farm and out of excitement Billy ran jumped over the fence and said hello I'm Billy big balls. The man took no notice of him and kept walking. The next day the man walked past the farm again and of course Billy big balls ran jumped over the fence and said hello I'm Billy big balls.
With these incidents happening, the farmer was starting to get pretty upset so he built a fence 4ft higher. Next day the same thing again, the farmer was amazed and built the fence 6ft higher. Next day Billy big balls jumped over the fence again and said hello I'm Billy big balls to the man passing by. By now the farmer was completely pissed and made the fence 10ft higher and out of barbwire. The next day the man came down walking past the farm and Billy big balls came running and jumped over the fence and said hello “I'M BILLY”