Pete and Joe two successful restaurateurs were discussing business when Pete suddenly dropped his head and solemnly announced, “Did you know that my married daughter is having an affair?” “Is that so,” said Joe. “Who’s catering it?”

A tour group is being guided through a factory that manufactures all types of rubber products, everything from tires to rubber bands. The highlight of the tour is watching the latex condoms being peeled off the penis-shape molds, rolled up, and slipped into foil packets.
The guests are surprised, however, to notice that every so often, before the condoms are
packaged, a man with a pin takes a random rubber off the assembly line and pokes a tiny hole in it.
One of the visitors cries out in shock to the tour guide, “Hey, why is he doing that? Don’t they know that those pinholes will cause thousands of unwanted pregnancies?”
“Yeah,” says the tour guide, “but just think of what it does for our ‘nipple’ division!”

Negotiations between union members and their employer are at an impasse. The union denies that the workers are flagrantly abusing the sick-leave provisions set our by their contract. One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator holds the morning edition of the newspaper. “
This man,” he announces, called in sick yesterday!” There on the sports page was a photo of the supposedly ill employee, who had just won a local golf tournament with an excellent score. A union negotiator breaks the silence in the room. “Wow!” he says. “Just think of the score he could have had if he hadn’t been sick!”

The small business owner was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, “You graduated from the University and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 15%, how much would you take off?” The secretary thought for a moment, then replied, “Everything but my earrings.”