As the horror movie was about to reach its terrifying conclusion, the young woman began fidgeting in her seat. The man sitting behind her leaned forward and inquired quietly, “feeling hysterical?” “No,” she whispered, pointing to her boyfriend. “He’s feeling mine.”
Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational, which once again asked
readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intoxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until
you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops
bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows
little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the
person who doesn't get it.
9 Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's
like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.
15 Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into
your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out
17. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in
the fruit you're eating.
A farmer was munching on a cookie as he watches the rooster chase a hen around. Playfully, the farmer threw a piece of cookie to the ground. Seeing it, the rooster stopped chasing the hen and ran to the piece of cookie. The farmer shook his head slowly and said, “Gosh, I hope I never get that hungry.”
In the darkness of the all but empty theater balcony, the couple embraced so passionately the man’s toupee slid from his head. Probing to find it in the darkness, he reached under his date’s skirt.
“That’s it, that’s it,” she gasped.
“It can’t be,” the fellow whispered back. “I part mine on the side.”
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