A bunch of men are sitting around the bar when one man starts to boast about the size of his dick, other men start to get into the conversation and things get heated, when the bartender says "okay let's settle this right now, everyone whip them out." So each man whips it out on the bar when another man walks in. The bartender asks, "Can I get you a drink?" The man replies "No thanks. I'll just have the buffet."

A gay guy walked into a bar and sat down to get a drink. A straight guy walks in and says to the bartender, “ I'm so thirsty, I could lick the sweat of a cows balls. The gay guy looks at the straight one and puts his pointer fingers straight up on his head and said, “moo, moo buckaroo”.

A guy walks into a bar and pulls out a tiny piano, along with a tiny little man who immediately starts to play. Another guy notices this and says, “Hey, what’s that?” “A 12- inch pianist.” The first guy says. “You see, I found this magic lamp, rubbed it, made a wish, and I goy a 12-inch pianist.” “Can I try?” The second guy asks.
The first guy says okay, and a minute later a million ducks fill the room. “Ducks? I didn’t wish for a million ducks. I wished for a million bucks,” says the second guy.
“You think I really wished for a 12-inch pianist?” says the other.

You're like a prize-winning bass... I don't know if I should mount you or eat you!