This couple was lying in bed on morning feeling horny. The man starts groping his wife, she says, "Oh no honey, I'm on my period." the mans says, "I don't care, they flip to the 69 position and are just going at it. The doorbell rings, the wife begs her husband, "please honey go get the door, I'm expecting a really important package", he reluctantly agrees, throws his robe on and answers the door. The delivery guy is staring at the man grinning then he stars laughing uncontrollably, the man glances in the hallway mirror and sees the mess on his face, he starts wiping his mouth saying "I was eating a jelly sandwich" the delivery guy says "oh I was laughing cause you got peanut butter on your forehead"

There was a 4-story building.
The guy on the 4th floor liked to throw knives out the window.
The guy on the 3rd floor liked to stick his meat out the window.
The guy on the 2nd, floor liked to paint things green.
And the guy on the 1st floor liked pickles.
You do the math!

What did Helen Keller get for her birthday?
Polio.

A man took an alligator into the local bar and stated if you buy me a beer I will stick my genitals in the alligators mouth for 30 seconds and come out unscathed. It was on, he stuck it all in the alligator’s mouth, 30 seconds went by, the alligator would not release----so the man hits the alligator over the head with the beer bottle and the alligator releases, the man comes out unscathed. He then states he will buy the whole bar a round if someone would volunteer to do this-----------after a long silence a woman in the back stands up and say's I will do it, but you have to promise not to hit me over the head with the beer bottle.