A man goes to a pharmacy and asks to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman behind the counter replies that she is the pharmacist, that she and her sister own the drugstore, and that there are no males employed there. “But surely I can help you” she says.
“This is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection that causes me a lot of pain and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?” “Just a minute, I’ll go talk to my sister.”
When she returns, she says, “The best we can offer is one-third-ownership in the store and five thousand a month in living expenses.”

Two men were on a safari in the middle of Africa. All of a sudden, they were startled when a huge, ghastly wildcat jumped from a branch onto the neck of one of the men. The other gentleman screamed and said, “What is it?”
The first man said, “How should I know? Your are the furrier

“Who” raged the angry executive “told you that just because I have kissed you a few times you could loaf around the office ad neglect your work?”
“The company attorney,” answered his personal assistant.

At a morticians conventions these three undertakers were talking about some of the bad cases they had to embalm during their careers.
The first said that the worse case he had ever had was where a man was in a fire and got burned beyond recognition, it took him two days to get him ready for burial.
The second undertaker said the worse case he ever had was where a girl was in an automobile wreck and was thrown through the windshield; she was cut up so bad she could not be identified. He said it took him three days to get her ready for burial.
The third undertaker said that the worse case that he ever had was where an old maid committed suicide by jumping off a ten story building, she fell straddle a fire plug. He said that it took him two weeks to wipe the smile off her face