Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
Because he liked sole music!

Beautiful blonde is sitting next to two guys at a Yankees baseball game. The blonde knows a lot about the game and one of the guys asks, "I don't want to sound chauvinistic, but how do you know so much about baseball?" Blonde says, "Believe it or not, I used to be a man". The guys are very curious and wonder what the worst part of becoming a woman was. First guy says, "Was it getting your testicles cut off?" Blonde says, "Nope". The other guy says," Was it getting your penis cut off?" Blonde says, "Nope". They both ask, "Then what was the worst part about becoming a woman? Blonde say, "Getting my salary cut in half".

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?
Both do hat tricks!!

Why are football players never asked for dinner?
Because they're always dribbling!