A rather dim-witted man saw a priest walking down the street and noticed his unusual collar. He stopped him and said, “Excuse me, but why do you have your shirt on backward?”
The priest laughed. “Because, my son, I am a Father!”
The man was still puzzled. “I’m a father, too,” he said “and don’t were my shirt backward.”
Again the priest laughed. “But I am a Father of thousands,” he explained.
“Well, then,” the man said, “maybe you should wear your shorts backward instead.”

Wife is like a TV,
Girlfriend is like a MOBILE.

At home you watch TV,
But when you go out you take your MOBILE.

No money, you sell the TV,
Got money you change your MOBILE.

Sometimes you enjoy TV,
But most of the time you play with your MOBILE.

TV is free for life,
But for the MOBILE, if you don't pay, the services will be terminated.

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old,
But the MOBILE is cute, slim, curvy and very portable.

Operational costs for TV is often acceptable,
But for the MOBILE it is often high and demanding.

TV has a remote,
MOBILE doesn't.

Most importantly, MOBILE is a two-way communication (you talk and listen),
But with the TV you MUST only listen (whether you want to or not).

Last but not least...TVs don't have viruses,
But MOBILEs often do!

Interviewing the convict after the publication of his first book, the reporter asked, “Why did you decide to list the author as ‘06809’?"
“What else would I use?” the prisoner said. “That’s my pen name?”

“I think I have finally cured my husband of coming home in the wee hours of the morning,” the wife proudly announced to her friend. “Last night, when I heard him fumbling downstairs, I yelled, ‘Is that you, Frank?”
“How has that cured him?” questioned her friend.
“Well, his name is Ed.”