Carl was describing his new secretary cheerfully to the family at dinner: “She’s efficient, personable, clever, punctual, and darned attractive, to boot. In short she’s a real doll!”
“A doll?” said his wife, whith a frown.
“A doll! Re-emphasized her oblivious husband.
At which point, their five-year-old daughter, who knew a little something about dolls, looked up from her plate to ask: “Does she close her eyes when you lay her down, Daddy?”

Two five-year-old boys are standing at the toilet to pee.
One says, ' Your thingy doesn't have any skin on it.'
I've been circumcised, the other one says.
What's that mean?
It means they cut the skin off at the end.'
How old were you when it was cut off?
'My mum said I was two days old.'
Did it hurt?
You bet it hurt. I couldn’t walk for a year,'

The family was ordering hamburgers in a restaurant.
Waitress: Now, how will you have your hamburger?
Father: Rare
Mother: Medium
Child: Large

A little girl was told off for wetting herself in class.
"Why didn't you put your hand up", asked the teacher?
"I did, but it kept running out"