A blind, a deaf and a cross-eyed go to the show. The blind did not see but heard, and said it was nice. The deaf saw it and said it was nice. The cross-eyed one said, I am the lucky one, I saw, it twice!

A robber walks into a store. He waits until he is alone in the store with the manager. Then pulls out a gun. “Okay,” he says, pointing the pistol at the trembling man, “go over to the cash register and give me all the money. “All right,” says the man, “All right. I’ll do anything you say. Just please don’t hurt me.”
After the manager has emptied the cash register the crook says, “Okay, pull your pants down and bend over.” “Oh, no,” says the man, “not that.” “Just do it,” says the robber.
The manager drops his pants, and the crook proceeds to have his way with him. When the robber is finished, he tells the man to turn around. The thief says, “okay, just one more thing before I leave. Give me a blowjob.” “No! No! Says the manager. “Please not that! Oh please, no!” The crook puts the gun to the man’s temple and says, “Do it.”
So the guy gets down on his knees and begins giving the robber a blowjob. After a few minutes the thief starts getting carried away and starts moaning and waving his hands around in the air above his head. The manager suddenly stops and says to the crook, “Say, could you please put than gun back up to my head in case one of my friends walks in?”

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken.
The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought
and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores
than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."

A fly is hovering 2 inches above a pond contemplating whether he should dip down and get a drink of water, at the same time a fish is in the water hoping the fly will dip down for a drink so he can jump out of the water and eat the fly, hiding in the woods a bear is looking at the fly hoping that he will drink the water so that the fish will jump up and eat him, and the bear can eat the fish, a hunter is looking at the fly hoping that the fly will drink the water, the fish will eat the fly, and the bear will jump and eat the fish so that the hunter can shoot it, a mouse is looking at a sandwich in the hunters pocket, hoping that the fly will drink the water, the fish will eat the fly, the bear will jump and eat the fish and the hunter will shoot the bear and the sandwich will fall out of his pocket and he can eat it. A cat is looking at the mouse hoping the fly will drink the water, the fish will eat the fly, the bear will eat the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the sandwich will fall out of his pocket and the mouse will jump on the sandwich so that the cat can eat the mouse. Well everything happens as planned, the fly drinks the water and the fish eats the fly the bear eats the fish, the hunter shoots the bear, the sandwich falls out of his pocket, and the mouse jumps on the sandwich, the cat jumps to get the mouse, but misses and falls in the water



What is the moral of the story?

Every time a fly dips down 2 inches a pussy gets wet.