Joe, Larry and Paul are sitting at a bar and talk turns to their wives and how the women are never interested in sex. Joe says, my wife comes to bed holding an ice cube in each hand and when morning comes, they haven’t even melted yet. Larry says, my wife likes to have a glass of water on her nightstand, but by the time she walks in from the bathroom with it, the glass is frozen. Paul says, when my wife gets undressed for bed, the furnace kicks on.

In the restroom at the retirement center two seniors are reminiscing, one turns to the other and says; "I remember when this was my ERECTOR SET but lately, it's just a little TINKLE TOY"

Roger had set a double date for himself and his friend Troy. Roger
said, "Troy, I'll give you first choice. Let me tell you what they're
like." "Okay," said his buddy. "Sandra has kind of a dumpy figure.
She's short on looks, but she gives an incredible blowjob. Suzie is
pretty and has a perfect pair of legs, which she shows off by wearing
shoes with very high heels." "Say no more," interrupted Troy. "I'll
go for head over heels anytime."

A gourmet friend of ours advises that when preparing a dish for bedtime, champagne makes the best tenderizer.