A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful and loving couple".
The local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
The Husband replied: "Well, it dates back to our honeymoon in America," explained the man. We visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and went down to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said, “That’s once."
We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. My wife quietly said, "That's twice."
We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled for the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
I SHOUTED at her, "What's wrong with you, Woman! Why did you shoot the poor animal like that? Are you crazy? She looked at ME, and quietly said, “That’s once."
"And from that moment.....we have lived happily every after."

Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and
reminiscing about old times.
One says to the other, "Darling, do you remember the minuet?"
The other replies, "Sweetheart, I can't even remember the ones I screwed!"

While participating is the Olympics a young gymnast had her first sexual experience, going to bed with a stunning foreign participant. Upon returning to her hometown, she promptly went to confession. After receiving absolution, the gymnast was so delighted that she did cartwheels down the aisle to the door. Waiting her turn, Old Mrs. Ole said to her friend, “can you believe what Father Johnson is giving for penance? Of all the days for me not to be wearing panties….”

Did you hear about the two old ladies who were on a drunk?
They wouldn't get off him.