“The thrill is gone from my marriage,” John tells his friend Bob. “Why not add some intrigue to your life and have an affair?” Bob suggests. “But what if my wife finds out?”
“Heck, this a new age we live in John. Go ahead and tell her about it!” So Bob goes home and says, “Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.” “Forget it,” says his wife. “I’ve tried that _ _ it’s never worked.”

Mr. and Mrs. Shaw were on a safari in darkest Africa.
They were walking cautiously through the jungle when suddenly a huge lion sprang out in front of them, seized Mrs. Shaw in its jaws and started to drag her off into the bush.
“Shoot!” she screamed to her husband. “Shoot!”
“I can’t!” he yelled back. “I’ve run out of film!”

Having carried his new wife across the threshold the husband said to her; before we make love I've got a guessing game I would like to play with you. In an excited mood, the eager new wife said; oh I love guessing games. Good he said, I’m going down to the pub, you sit here and guess what time I'll be home!

Being married for some time the wife began questioning her husband. “I know you’ve been with a lot of women before;” she said “How many were there?” The husband replied, “Look, I don’t want to upset you, but there were more than a couple of women.
Let’s just leave it at that.” She continued to plead. Finally, her husband gave in. “Let’s see,” he said. “there was one, two, three, four, five, six, you, eight, nine…