Three friends went deer hunting: a doctor, a lawyer, and a preacher. After hours of waiting, a huge deer suddenly appeared. Excited, all three men aimed and pulled their triggers at the same time, and the animal fell dead. The doctor said, "That was my shot." The lawyer replied, "I'm sure I shot it." The preacher disagreed, "I killed that deer." The argument was about to get out of hand when the doctor said, "Let me do an autopsy to settle this matter once for all." After the examination, the doctor reported, "It was the preacher who killed the deer." The lawyer asked, "What's the proof?" The doctor replied, "The bullet went in one ear and out the other."

Q: Why are Egyptian kids usually a confused lot?
A: Because their fathers become a "mummy" after death....

In a train compartment a young couple and an elderly, somewhat ragged man were sitting. The girl looks like she's having some discomfort so her boyfriend asks her, "What's wrong honey?"
She replies, "My head hurts." Her boyfriend kisses her forehead, and asks, "Is it better now?" "Yes," she says.
Then he asks, "Does it hurt somewhere else?" "Here," she replies, pointing to her lips. So the boyfriend kisses her lips. "Is it better now?" Yes, “much better” then she points to her neck. So the boyfriend kisses her neck.
Annoyed at the pitiful public display, the elderly man asks the young man, "Excuse me pal, do you do hemorrhoids?"

The inhabitants of Timbuktu usually ask tourists coming to visit their town to make a rhyme with "Timbuktu".
One day a couple of tourists had arrived, an old man, dressed completely in black and a young man, dressed like a globetrotter. The two men were informed about their specific wish and then the Timbuktu people addressed the old man first: Do you think you could do that?
He thought for a while, and then he began: »I was a priest for all my life, have no children, have no wife - I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu.
The Timbuktu people were enchanted and addressed - somewhat pitiful - the young man: Do you think, you could do that too? His answer was: I will at least try: When Tim and I to Melbourne went, we met three ladies in a tent. But they were three and we were two, so I took one and Tim booked two.