A man goes to the doctor's and says, “I would I like to get castrated". The doctor tries to convince him but the man won't listen. All he keeps on saying is, "I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated! I want to get castrated!” The doctor says; "your life will be changed after this operation. Do you still want to go ahead?" Man: “yes!"
After a few hours the man is walking in the hospital with a stick in his hand and legs apart he meets another man walking the same way. First man: “so even you got the operation done?" second man: "yeah after 37 years of my life I felt that it would be much better to get circumcised", first man: "Shit. That’s the word!"

A proctologist goes to his bank to make a deposit. He reaches in his pocket for a pen to endorse his check, and pulls out a rectal thermometer. The proctologist says, "Damn, some asshole's got my pen."

An 80-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. "I've never felt better," he replies. "I've got an 18-year-old bride and she's having my baby! What do you think about that?"
The doctor considers this for a moment then "Well let me you a story I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season. But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he's walking in the woods near the creek, and suddenly he spots a beaver in the brush in front of him. He rises up his umbrella, points it at the beaver and squeezes the handle. BAM! The beaver drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible!" says the old man in disbelief," "someone else must have shot the beaver!"

"Bingo!" says the doctor

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Beast-fed" she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered. She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.

Motioning her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma but I'm glad I came."