Tiger Woods was driving along a road in Europe in his brand new Mercedes. When he stopped to get some petrol a guy said: “Wow that's a nice Mercedes, my favorite car those are the seats, the wheels everything, great car". Then Tiger bent over and some tees fell out of his pocket. "What are they?” the man asked. "They’re tees" Tiger answered. "What are they for" the man asked again. "I use them to rest my balls on when I’m driving,” Tiger answered again. "Oh, those Germans think of everything, don’t they? Said the man.

What is the difference between a fox and a pig? About 5 or six beers!

A man walks onto a bar with his pet alligator and says to everyone: "If I place my genitals in this alligators mouth for one minute and take them out unscathed will each of you buy me a drink?" They all agreed to his challenge. So he took off his pants placed his genitals in the alligator’s mouth and the alligator closed his mouth. Everyone gasped in aw. A minute later he takes a bottle smashes it over the alligators head and the alligator opened its mouth. He took out his genitals and sure enough not a scratch on them. When he is done with his drinks he asks the crowd "Now would anyone of you dare to do this next?" And a beautiful woman raises her hand and says " I will but don't hit me over the head with a bottle."

There's a man at the bar, when a women walked in. The man tells her he's drinking magic beer. He tells her he can fly around the building and then jumps out the window. He flew around the building and landed back inside. The women told him she bets he couldn't fly around the building twice. Again he jumps out the window and flew around the building twice. The women said she like to try this "magic beer". So, she tries it. She jumped out the window and tried to fly around the building. She fell 7 stories onto concrete. So the bartender says, "Yeah know Superman, you can be such a jerk when you're drinking."