It’s not so bad,” Mrs. Fields said to her neighbor.
“My Bob may be gay, but at least he’s going with a doctor

man #1: "I don't want to get marry because I’m afraid of all women."
man #2: "Just get married soon. Then you'll be afraid of only one woman and start loving another women."

Q: What is the definition of mixed emotions?
A: Watching your mother-in-law go off the cliff in your brand new Lexus.

A woman walks into a drug store and asks the pharmacist: "Sir, do you have cotton balls?"
Pharmacist: "Lady; do I look like, a teddy bear?"