“I can’t understand how the cat came to have kittens,” an old lady said to the vet. “I never let her out and no other cats are allowed near her.”
The vet looked around and saw a large tom sitting by the fireplace.
“What about him? He asked.
“Oh, don’t be silly,” said the old lady. “That’s her brother.”

Bird Flu
A bear, a lion and a chicken meet.

Bear says: "If I roar in the forests of North America, the entire forest is shivering with fear." Lion says: "And if I roar on the great plains of Africa, the entire savannah is afraid of me." Says the chicken: "Big deal. I only have to cough, and the entire planet wets itself."

A couple runs over a skunk and the wife looks in the mirror and sees that a little baby is standing by its dead mother. She yells “Stop, stop, stop.” He asked, “What’s wrong?” ”We have to save the poor little thing.” Back in the car the baby is shivering so the wife turns up the heat. “I am burning up turn of the heater it’s the middle of summer.” But he is shivering what can I do? Just put him between your legs. But what about the smell? Well, just hold his little nose.”

A man was having a drink in a bar; beside him was his small yellow dog. Soon another man with a dog came in; this man had a large pit bull and taunted the first man to have the dogs scrap outside for $50. Finally the man with the small yellow dog agreed, they went outside and the small dog completely pulverized the pit bull. After paying the $50 the owner of the pit bull asked what kind of dog the yellow dog was. The winner said "before I cut off his tail and painted him yellow he was an alligator!"