A guy walks into a bar with a frog growing out of his forehead. Astonished, the bartender shouts "wow, where'd you get that!! ? " the frog says, " I don't know, it started out as a wart on my ass!

Q: How many Irishman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

There was this duck who was walking in front of this bar, he went inside and asked the bartender if he had any duckfood, the bartender said no, now get out! so the duck left. The next day the duck went back in and asked the bartender if he had any duck food, the bartender said no, now get out or I'll nail your feet to the ground! so the duck left. The next day the duck came in and asked the bartender. Do you have any nails? The bartender said no, and the duck said in that case, do you have any duck food?

A guy working in Texas and it's really hot. He just got paid so he goes to the first bar he sees. He sits on the stool and says, "Man I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls" The bartender turns around and say's "moo-moo buckaroo"