Van typically the fall guy in everyone's jokes was one day surprised to receive an invite from one of his neighbors - Koos. Koos was one of the local rich kids - by inheritance.
He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with the women. At the height of the party, Koos said, "I have a 10 ft. Man-eating crocodile in my pool and I'll give a million bucks to anyone who has the balls to jump in." The words were barely out of Koos’ mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Van in the pool! Van was fighting the croc and kicking
its ass! He was jabbing the croc in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of things like head butts and chokeholds, biting the croc on the tail and flipping it through the air like some kind of Japanese Judo Instructor.

The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Van and the croc were screaming and raising hell. Finally Van strangled the croc and let it sink to the
bottom like a sick goldfish. Van then slowly climbed out of the pool. Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief.
Finally Koos (The rich guy) says, "Well, Van, I reckon I owe you a million bucks."
"No, that's okay. I don't want it,” said Van Koos said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks. I don't want it,” answered Van. Koos said, "Come on, I insist on giving
you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a
Rolex and some stock options?" Van just said no. Confused, Koos said, "Well, Van, then what do you want?"
Van answered, "I want the name of the smart ass who pushed me in the pool!"

Have you heard about the new textbook for gastroenterology study?
It’s called, “Origin of the feces.”

Q: If a bean's a bean, what's a pea?
A: A relief

An executive is making love to his assistant in his office. When they finish, she gets out of the couch stark naked and start to jumping up and down. Her boss says, “What are you doing? Somebody might see you through that window. If this leaks out, I’ll be ruined.” She keeps jumping up and down. “If it doesn’t leak out,” she says, “I could be ruined.”