Down in Australia, this father decides to take his oldest son whom is 18 years old, into the town of Sydney to get educated by women. So on the way into town, he proceeds to tell his son what he is looking for and what to do. The father then drops him off at 9th and Main. As the Australian boy is walking down the street he notices this good-looking lady standing on the corner. He approaches and says, "excuse me maam, but my daddy brought me into town to be educated by someone like you." She takes him by the hand and leads him up to her apartment. She then proceeds to say, "Go into the bedroom and take off all your clothes and I will be with you shortly." He does. While the lady is in the bathroom changing into a negligee, she hears quite the rustling and noises coming from the bedroom. Upon entering the room, she notices that all the furniture and bed was all stacked up next to the walls. She was shocked but asks, "Why did you put all the furniture up next to the walls like you did?" He replied, "Maam, I don't know anything about women but if they are anything like Kangaroos we are going to need plenty of room."

The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked the congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?' All the men stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?' All the women stood up. 'No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?' Half the women stood up. ‘No, no,' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen MY cock?' Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up. The priest fainted.

On a train a woman reading a book.
The man sitting next to her says,
“Hi, couldn’t help but notice the book you’re reading.”
“Yes, it’s about finding sexual satisfaction. It’s interesting.
Did you know that, statistically, American Indians and Polish men are the best lovers?
By the way, my name is Jill.
What’s yours?”
“Flying Cloud Kowalski. Nice to meet you.”

As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze
you, because I can't forget last night.

You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.

You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly without any reservations,
you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference,
so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation,
and you drove me near crazy while you drained me.

Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone,
I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last
nights events.

My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you.................. you bloody mosquito.