An old man went to the doctor for his annual check up, but his hearing was not that good. His wife came with him to assist the doctor with translation.
The doctor began with, "I need a urine sample."
"Huh!" the old man yelled.
"He needs a urine sample! Pee in the cup!" she yelled back.
"Oh, okay," he mumbled as he went to pee in the cup.
As he returned with his cup the doctor said, "I need a stool sample."
"Huh!" he barked.
"He needs a stool sample! Go poop in this bowl!" she yelled, again.
"Oh, okay." He left again bowl in hand. As he returned, the doctor had one more cup.
"Lastly, I need a sperm sample."
"Huh!" he yelled.
His wife shook her head in dismay and shouted, "Give him your underwear
Shirley and Sophie are elderly widows. One day they see a new, nice looking guy come into the indoor swimming pool of a building with them.
Sophie says, "Shirley you know I'm shy. Can you go over to the other side of the pool and try to get to know about that guy."
Shirley goes over to the other side and asks the guy "Are you single?"
"Yes, but I been in prison."
"Why?"
"I strangled my third wife."
"What about your second wife?"
"I got in a fight with her and she fell out the window."
"And your first wife?"
"I shot her."
Then Shirley calls to the other side to Sophie and says "Yoo hoo, he's single!"
Q: what are the three things that you never do when you get old?
A: 1. You never pass a bathroom
2. You never trust a fart
3. You never waste a hard on
This 90 year old man goes to his doctor and says,
"I want some of those pills I hear advertised that will
cause me to rekindle the old fire in me."
"Oh", replies the doctor, "You must want Viagra."
"No," he says, "I just want some Ginko Biloba
so I can remember what it feels like to HAVE sex!"
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