“If I’m not in bed by ten o’clock,” said one female barfly to the other, “I’m going home.”

Two drunk guys are standing at the bar getting their acts together near closing time. “I’ve got an idea,” says one. “Let’s have one more drink and then go and find us some girls.” “NO,” replies the other one with a wink. “I’ve got more than I can handle at home.” “Great. Then let’s have one more for the road and go up to your place.”

A very handsome man at a singles bar is sitting at a prime location having a drink. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks in, with no luck. Then a repulsively ugly man comes in, sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Minutes later he walks out with two of the most beautiful women you ever saw.
Disheartened by all this, the good looking guy calls the bartender, and says “Excuse me, but do you know that man’s secret? I mean, he’s not what you’d call attractive … in fact; he’s ugly as sin …and yet the ladies adore him. I’m everything a girl could want but I haven’t been able to score all night. What’s going on?”
“Well,” said the barman, “I don’t know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there licking his eyebrows.”

Joe is getting drunk in his local bar when a gorgeous woman walks in. Joe buys her a drink, then another and another. After some small talk, he asks her back to his place for a “good time.” “Look,” says the woman, “What do you think I am? I don’t turn into a slut after three drinks, you know!” “Okay, so how many does it take?”