Q: What is the speed of sex?
A: 68 because at 69 you have to turn around!!!!!

What's the difference between a good girl and a nice girl:
A nice girl goes out on a date, goes home, and goes to bed.
A good girl goes out on a date, goes to bed, and then goes home.

A sensational new golfer of Japanese American descent joins the pro tour and by the time the tour reaches Japan is leading the competition by a mile having won practically every event.

Having never been to the land of his ancestors before he is determined to make a really good impression and sets himself a strict regime for the competition. He goes to bed early, gets up in time for a couple of hours practice before play starts and generally keeps away from anything that might distract him from his game. The result is that he plays some brilliant golf and by the end of the penultimate day has an unassailable lead so he decides to take a night off and have some fun. After all he reasons, no one else is likely to catch him now and he still hasn’t seen anything of Japan.

So that night he goes out clubbing, has a few drinks, meets up with a nice Japanese girl and generally has a good time. Well one thing leads to another and he ends up back at her place where they makes love all night long. Her cries of “mitsui, mitsui” every time they make love lead him to think he must be a real stud where Japanese women are concerned.

In the morning when he goes out for the last day of the competition he plays some outstanding shots culminating in a brilliant birdie to smash the course record. He is so elated he punches the air and shouts the only word of Japanese he knows, “mitsui” just as his girlfriend had done in the throes of passion the night before. On hearing this, his caddie turns to him and says, “What do you mean wrong hole?”

Q.What do you call 2 lesibians in a canoe?
A.Fur traders