The nigh before her wedding the mother takes her daughter aside. “Now, look,” she tells her daughter “Men are a little strange sometimes. If he ever tells you to turn over, I want you to get out of bed, pack your things and come home to me.”
So the couple gets married and everything is fine for a couple of years. Then, one night, while they are in bed, the man says to the woman, “Darling, roll over now.” Hearing this, she gets out of bed, puts her clothes on and starts packing her things. When she is ready to leave the confused husband says, “Honey, wait a minute! What’s the matter?”
Wiping her tears, she says, “My mother told me that men are a little strange sometimes and if you ever ask me to roll over, I was to get my things and leave you, and go home to her.” “But, honey,” says the husband, “don’t you want children?

What's the definition of a man's perfect breakfast? His son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, his mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and his wife is on the back of the milk carton.

A guy had a small penis that he's always conscious of and he had a sneaky belief that he doesn't fully satisfy his wife so one day he visited 'BIG Joe' who had he reputation of having the biggest penis in town, “Say, Joe, I have problem I think you can solve,"
What's that, Billy? Billy explained, “well, Billy, I will tell you my secret...every night before bed I will knock my penis three times on the bed post, and that will guarantee you it will grow an inch in a week"
Excited now Billy said he would try it that night. So that night when his wife was asleep, Bill knocked his penis three times on the bedpost. The wife sprung up and said, “Is that you BIG JOE?"

HONEYMOON: That brief period of time between, "I do" and "You'd better!"