This guy applied for a waiter’s job at this bar.
The bartender told him he must be able to call the orders back to him in Rhyme.
He said "I can do that", so the bartender said I will give you a test, the next person that comes in, see what you can do.
So these two lawyers came in and ordered a bottle beer,
Then this hooker came in and ordered a bottle of beer,
Then this country girl came in and ordered a draft beer.
So he hollowed back to the bartender,
Two brews for two Jews, one more for a good looking whore a beer in a glass for country lass and if that isn't poetry you can kiss my ass.

NIKE have just invented a new pair of trainers for lesbians - they come with an extra long tongue and you can get them of with one finger.

When God created man he said, you get 20 years sex life, man was disappointed. Then God created the lion and said to the lion you get 20 years good sex life, to which the lion said, Oh! No! Please give me only 10 years. The lion explained to God that he would have too many cubs and that would be competition for food so if man wants more give him his other 10, man said thank you. God then created the monkey and also gave him 20 years. The monkey said Oh! No! After 10 years I would have trouble swinging through the trees so I only want 10 years. Man pleaded with God please can I have the 10 years that he does not want, so God gave it to him. Next God created the donkey he got 20 as well and the donkey pleaded with God Oh! No! I only want 10 if I had more it would break my back. Man again asked if he could have the donkeys other 10 so God let him have it.
So now, man has 20 years of good sex life, 10 years of lying about it, 10 years of monkeying around and 10 years of making a jackass of himself.

Joe Brooks had always wanted to be a college instructor but after getting his degree, could not seem to find work anywhere. Finally he was contacted about a position at a local community college to teach sex education. Joe didn't really want to teach that course, but decided that it was a teaching position and he decided to accept the offer. Knowing that his wife, Mary, would not like him teaching sex- ed, he decided to tell her he would be teaching a sailing course at the university. A few months later while paying for her groceries, Mary overheard a group of young girls talking about their instructor at the college and just how wonderful and knowledgeable he was about the subject he was teaching. They went on and on about how much they enjoyed his class and couldn't wait to come back the next day. Mary paid the cashier for her groceries and when she got her change back, the cashier said "Thank you Mrs. Brooks, and tell Joe I said hi." The girls that were talking heard the cashier and asked Mary if her husband Joe was a teacher at the university. She replied yes, and once more the girls started gushing about how great an instructor he was, how knowledgeable he was on the course and how they were all learning so much. Mary was surprised and replied to the group of girls, "I don't know how he became such an expert on the subject. He only tried it twice. The first time he got sick, and the second time his hat blew off and he came home."