Little Johnny’s father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees.
‘I don’t want to know,’ Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused his father asks what is wrong. ‘Oh daddy,’ Johnny sobs. ‘At age six I got the “there is no Santa” speech. At age seven I got the “there is no Easter bunny” speech. Then at age eight you hit me with the “there is no tooth fairy” speech! If you’re going to tell me now that grown-ups don’t really screw, I’ve got nothing left to live for.”

Little Johnny was asked by his teacher, so Johnny what did you see on the way to school? He answered I saw a dog get hit by a car and the bumper went right into his *** Horrified the teacher corrected him. “Johnnie, do not use that word! Use Rectum.. Johnny looked at the teacher and replied o.k.? It damn near killed him.

Little Johnny asks, “Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them."Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who f...s the stork?" His mother fainted!!!

Little Johnny attends a horse auction with his father. He watches as his father moves from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horses’ legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asks, “Dad, why are you doing that?” Because when I’m buying horses, I first have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape.”
Johnny, looking worried, says, “Dad, I think the gardener wants to buy Mom.”