A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales, and stated that a whale swallowed Jonah!.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal, it's throat was very
small. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;
it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

Jesus, Moses and an old bearded man are golfing. Jesus tees up, hits his drive straight toward the hole, only to find it bouncing toward the lone water hazard on the course. It flys to the water, stops and hovers just above the pond. Jesus approaches the pond, walks to its middle, and hits the hovering ball to within inches of the cup. Moses steps up to the tee, and finds his drive approaching the same water hazard. He raises his club, the pond waters part, and the ball comes to rest just shy of the cup. The older man hits a poor drive, it screams onto a nearby road, ricochets off a truck, and hits the water. A frog intercepts it, only to be picked up by a passing eagle. Frog and ball are lifted skyward, only to be dropped by the eagle to within inches of the cup. In his scramble to get away, the frog hits the hall, knocking it into the cup for a perfect hole in one. Moses looks to Jesus, and says, " Boy, I hate golfing with your dad!!"

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when an intruder startled her.
She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, “Stop! Acts 2:38” (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven) the burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man, he asked him: “Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was yell a scripture to you”
“Scripture?” replied the intruder. “She said she had an ax and two 38’s!”

Three Scientists were talking to God, "Hey God we don't need you anymore we can make Man ourselves". God said "O really", and the scientists said, "yea, as a matter of fact why don't we have a contest who can make a man faster you or us", So God said "O.K". So the scientists went back to his friends and said "we are going to have a contest with God to see who can make a man faster Him or us". So the first scientist went out and scooped up a big pile of dirt, just then a bolt of lightning struck the ground near the man making him drop the pile of dirt, looking up at God he said "what"! God said, "get your own dirt".