A young blonde, an old lady, a South African and an Australian were sharing a compartment on a train as it entered a tunnel. In the darkness during the journey through the tunnel, the sound of a loud slap rang through the compartment followed by silence. When the train exited the tunnel no one said anything but everyone noted a bright red welt across the Aussie’s face.

The Aussie, obviously shocked, thought to himself…. “I bet this bloody South African sitting next to me made a play for the young blonde and she thought it was me and gave me a slap instead of him! Bugger – it stings like hell!”

The Old Lady thought to herself…”I bet this horny little Aussie made a play for the young blonde sitting next to me and she gave him a good slap for his troubles! Good for her!”

The Young Blonde thought to herself…. “I bet that Aussie thought he was making a play for me and jumped the old lady instead so she gave him a good slap. Dirty bastard!”

The South African thought to himself…. “Gee, I hope the train goes through another tunnel soon, so I can give that Aussie another slap!”

The Belgium king isn't very pleased with the way Dutch people think of his country. "They’re always laughing at our mistakes, they think were idiots! I want payback!" He stated.
So, the king goes to The Dutch Queen and asks her to build a large bridge in the Sahara, in the middle of the desert. He tells her that he is sick of being laughed at, and wants his share of the laughter.
The Queen hesitates, but values a good relationship with the king. So she orders the construction of the bridge.
The people in Belgium can't stop laughing for 6 months, and the kings has had his pleasure, so he asks the Queen to demolish the bridge and end this.
The Queen replies: I can't do that.
King: Why not?
Queen: Because 3 Belgium men are fishing on it, they swore not to leave until they caught at least one fish!

Flying over Germany, a Lufthansa pilot spoke to ground control in German. The ground controller replied: "I am sorry, but you must speak in English". The irate pilot replied in English; "I am a German, flying over Germany in a German airline, why must I have to speak in English?"

Cool as anything, over the airwaves from some unknown airplane came the reply in crisp, perfectly spoken English, "Because we won the war".

An elderly woman travels to Paris for the first time in her life and stays in a five-star hotel. Looking at the installations, she is very pleased and the view out the windows facing the Eiffel tower is breathtaking. Stopping at the bathroom, she is intrigued by something next to the toilet with a similar form but without a lid. Being curious by nature, she calls up room-service. When the attendant arrives, she shows him to the bathroom, pointing to that strange thing, asking: “Tell me, is that to wash babies in?”
The attendant replies dryly: “No Madame, on the contrary”.