A man in a bar has had one too many. When a beautiful lady sits down next to him, he turns to her and says, “Hey, how ‘bout it, babe; you and me, getting’ it on. I’ve got a couple of dollars, and it looks like you could use a little money.”
“What makes you think I charge by the inch?” She said.

Guts- is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: “Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?”
Balls- is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass, and having the balls to say, “You are next.”

Passing through the hospital corridors, a doctor noticed a strong smell of marijuana.
He asked one of the nurses on duty about the odor. “The good thing,” the nurse said, “is that down that hall everybody’s glaucoma has cleared up. The bad thing is that now everyone wants a Twinkie!”

A man suggest a one dollar bar bet to a well endowed young lady that despite her dress being buttoned to the neck, he could touch her breast without touching her clothes. Since this didn’t seem remotely possible, she is intrigued and accepts the bet. He steps up, cups his hands around her breasts and squeezes firmly. With a baffled look, she says, “Hey, you touched my clothes.” And he replies, “O.k., here’s your dollar…”