The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers,
hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the
alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone area.

They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on
their clothing to alert but not startle the bears unexpectedly. They also
advise you to carry pepper spray in case of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch for signs of bear activity. People should
be able to recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear
droppings.

Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel
fur.

Grizzly bear droppings have little bells in them and smell like pepper
spray.

While out golfing with his wife a man slices his drive hard to the right. It lands so that there is a large barn between him and the green. After much contemplation as to how to play the shot his wife suggests that they open the doors on both ends of the barn and then he can shoot straight through the barn. He agrees and takes his shot. He misses the doorway and the ball bounces back hitting his wife in the head and killing her. Several years later the man is back playing the same course with a buddy and makes exactly the same shot. His bubby also suggests that he open the barn doors and shoot through. The man says to his buddy, "No, last time a tried that shot I ended up with a double bogey on this hole!”

Two male golfers are standing on the 10th tee. Bill takes about 20 practice swings, changes his grip 5 or 6 times, and changes his stance just as much.
"Hey Bill what are you doing? Play for heaven's sake. We don't have all day!" says Jim.
"Hold on a minute, I got to do this right. See the woman standing up there on the clubhouse porch? That's my wife and I would like to get off the perfect shot," replied Bill.
Jim looks, and about 250 yards away he sees Bill's wife. He says, "You must be kidding. You couldn't hit her from here."

Mario Lemieux, Stevie Iserman, and Wayne Gretzky were flying to a charity golf tournament. On the way, the plane crashed and they all died. Up in Heaven, God said to Mario, "So, what did you do that I should let you in here?" "Well," he began, "I gave my life to hockey, I did it for the fans and for the love of the game, and I gave to charities." "Okay," God said, "you can come in and sit on my right." So Lemieux sits on God's right hand as He turns to Iserman and says, "And you, Stevie, why should you come into Heaven?" So Stevie said, "I too have given my life to hockey, I played my best for the enjoyment of the people, have also give to charities, and I was born in Cranbrook, B.C." "All right, Stevie, you can come in, and sit on my left." As Iserman moved to God's left, God turned to Gretzky and said, "And you, Wayne, what have you to say for yourself?" "Well," Wayne said, "I believe you're sitting in my seat."