Sally had been dating one man steadily for almost a year, and her mother was growing concerned.
“Exactly what are his intentions?” She demanded.
“Well, Mom, I’m really not sure,” sally said. “He’s been keeping me pretty much in the dark

A guy is driving his girlfriend home when she decides she wants to go to her friend’s house instead. Her friend lives out of the way, so in return for the favor, she offers to get naked. The guy agrees and the girl takes off all her clothes. The guy is so busy looking at her that he smashes the car into a tree and get stuck between the steering wheel and the seat. “You’ll have to go get help!” he tells her. “But I can’t. I have no clothes on, and I can’t reach them.” “Take my shoe and cover your snatch with it, and go for help!”
She reluctantly agrees and runs off to the nearest gas station. She finds the attendant and says, “Help, my boyfriend is stuck! Can you help us?”
“I’m sorry, ma’am... but I think he’s too far in.”

There once was a man who muttered a few words in church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

A young model is engaged to a ninety-year-old ship tycoon. In preparation for the wedding reception she tells the caretaker that the festivities must have a football theme.
“Football theme,” the caretaker asks, “Why?”
“Well,” the woman replies, “I’m hoping he’s going to kick off soon.”