A girl was really flat chest so she went to the doctors and asked him if he had anything to prescribe to her, to help her get bigger breasts the doctor replied to her,” Everyday when you wake up rub your nipples and say Scobbie Dobbie Doo I wish I had bigger bobbies”. So she went home and kept repeating this procedure each day and her breast really started to grow. So one day she was on the bus and remembered that she forgot to do it that day. So she stood up and started rubbing her nipples and said, "Scobbie Dobbie Doo I Wish I had bigger boob”. After that a guy walked up to her and said hey you must go see that new doctor in town and she said, "Yeah how did you know?" The guy then stood in front of her grabbed his dick and said "Hickory Dickory Dock...."

While having lunch five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second surgeon, from Chicago responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: "You know I like construction workers... Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over."
The fifth surgeon, from Washington D.C., shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There are no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains, and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."

Simon and his favorite uncle were driving along a dark road one night when the car swerves off the road. Simon regains consciousness in the hospital to be told that his legs were so badly severed that they had to be removed. Simon is obviously in a critical state of mind at this news and is completely distraught to hear that his uncle didn’t survive the accident. The only consolation to Simon was that the doctors were confident of being able to perform surgery, which would allow him to get use of his uncle’s legs, and soon be walking again.
Some time later, Simon received notice from "stars in their eyes", hosted by none other than Mathew Kelly, to say that he was successful in his audition earlier and he was to perform in a few days.
The big day came and Mathew introduced Simon to the crowd. Shocked to see Simon now in a wheelchair, Mathew asked about the accident. After telling of his tragic ordeal, Simon beamed with pride as the crowd applauded his courage to perform, waiting in anticipation to hear who he will be. "So tell us who you are going to be tonight Simon..." asked Matthew. Simon replied..." well tonight Mathew.... I’m going to be Simon and Half uncle"

A doctor was preparing to examine a patient. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her s story as he put on his surgical gloves. “Do you know how they make these gloves?” he asked. “No,” she replied, “How?” “Well, in the glove factory there’s a large tank of latex. The workers, who are lined up according to hand size, walk around until the latex dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and start the process all over again.” Seeing that he wasn’t getting the laugh he had hoped for, the doctor began the exam without further delay. Five minutes later, the woman began to giggle. “I’m sorry,” she said, blushing. “It just occurred to me how they must make condoms!”