An elderly couple went for a routine medical examination.
The doctor first examines the husband and says, “You look fine. Do you have any problem?"
Husband: Its nothing-serious Doc, but the first we make love it is OK. The second time, however, I sweat hell of a lot.
The doctor then examines the wife and finds her OK. After the examination, he says, “You look fine. Your husband was saying that the first time both of you make love, it is fine but the second time he starts sweating. Do you know why?
Wife: But of course Doctor. The first time we do it, it is in December and the second time is in June!!

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, crushed nuts?
"No," he replied, "Arthritis"

An elderly couple returns home from a night out on the town. The husband immediately starts to pack his bags. The wife asks, “Where are you going?”
He replies, “I’m going to Bali.”
“Bali?” she asks, “Why Bali?”
The man says, “Simple. Every time you make love there they give you ten dollars.”
The woman then immediately starts packing her bags. And her husband asks, “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to Bali too.”
The husband questions why she is going. She replies, “I wand to see how your are going to live on twenty dollars a year!

An elderly man went to the doctor and wanted a sperm check. The doctor said it wouldn't be necessary but the man demanded. So the doctor gave the man a jar and told him to come back the next day. The next day the old man came back, the jar empty.
"What happened?" the doctor asked.
"Well," the old man said, "I tried with my left hand, I tried with my right hand, my wife tried with her left hand, she tried with her right hand, and she tried with her teeth in and her teeth out. No matter how hard we tried...We just couldn't get the lid off the jar."