As was their habit, Mary and Mike made love every night exactly at 9:20. Even when Mary came down with the flu, they didn’t break their tradition; the doctor gave her an antibiotic that killed all but three of the germs.
Hiding from the medicine one germ said, “Listen, I am going to hide in her eyelashes.
The antibiotics won’t think to look for me there.” “Me?” said the second. “I’m heading for her ear. I’ll bury myself in wax and they’ll never find me.”
The third virus shook its head. “You go where you want, fellows, but when that ol’9: 20 pulls out, yours truly will be on it!”

A couple of old buddies walking down the streets of downtown. One sees a whorehouse and looks at his buddy and says "Wait for me here I'll be right back". The man came back out and his buddy asks, "So, was it a stick up or a hold up?"

Three friends while touring Dubai happened to stumble into a harem tent filled with more than fifty beautiful women. The guys start getting friendly with these exotic girls, when suddenly the sheik comes in. In a furious tone he says “I am the master of these women. No one can touch them but me. You three men must pay for what you have done, and will be punished in a way that corresponds to your profession.” With that, the sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. “I’m a cop,” the man says.
“Then we will shoot your penis off!” says the sheik. He then turns to the second man and asks him what he does for a living. “I’m a fireman,” says the second man. “Then we will burn your penis off!” says the sheik. Finally, he asks the third man, “And you, what do you do for a living?” With a sly grin, the man says, “I’m a lollipop salesman!”

A guy bumped into his ex-girlfriend, from whom he had parted on bad terms. He said: I need to tell you, I was with someone last night, but I was still thinking of you.’ ‘Why? She asked, rather surprised. ‘Because you miss me?’ ‘No, because it stops me from coming to soon!’