A scuba diver gets arrested for having sex with a dolphin. His wife is furious. “Caught making love to a dolphin! “How could you?” she says. That’s it I’m leaving you.” “Doesn’t bother me,” he says. “There’s plenty more fish in the sea!”

At a country club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Right away he began flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after an hour he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she said. “We only met an hour ago. There is no way you could be so sure. We don’t know a thing about each other.” “You are wrong,” the young man declared. “For the past seven years I’ve been working in the bank where your father has his business account.”

“Did you know that beer contains female hormones?” asked Tom “Get outta here! Said Jack “Figure it out said Tom: If you drink too much, your start talking crap, nagging everyone in sight, and your driving goes to hell.”

The sweetest words any man can hear from his girlfriend are, “There’s really nothing to worry about….I kid you not.”