Their lips met and he held her closer, tighter, firmer, “Oh, darling,” she whispered, “I’ve been saving my love for you.” “All right, honey,” he breathed. “Be prepared to lose the savings of a lifetime.”

On the beach, how can you recognize a guy who uses an inflatable sex doll? He doesn’t stare at the bikinis- he stares at the beach balls!

A bitter divorced guy bumped into his ex-wife’s new husband at a cocktail party. After a few drinks, he strolled conceitedly over to him and sneered: “So, how do you like using secondhand goods?” “It doesn’t bother me,” said the new husband. “Once you get past the first three inches, it’s all brand new.”

While grocery shopping, a single man comes across toilet brushes. “Wow!
What a great idea,” he thinks to himself, and buys three of them. Two weeks later he goes back to using toilet paper.