This guy walks into a bar and takes two steps in; he realizes it's a gay bar. "But what the heck", he says, "I really want a drink. “When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the customer, "What's the name of your penis?" The customer says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. “All I want is a drink". The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the slogan 'Just Do It.' That guy down at the end of the bar calls his Snickers, because "It really satisfies. “The customer looks dumb founded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over. So the customer asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of your penis?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX." The thirsty customer asks, "Why Timex?" The fellow proudly replies, "Cause it takes a licking' and keeps on ticking!" A little shaken, the customer turns to the fellow on his right, who is sipping a fruity margarita and says, "So, what do you call your penis?" The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is Job 1."Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford, lately? “Even more shaken, the customer has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his penis. Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is Secret. Now give me my beer. “The bartender begins to pour the customer a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, “Why secret? “The customer says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN."

There were 5 gays in a jacuzzi and all of the sudden a condom surfaces.
One of the guys asks: “who farted”?

A guy wanted to buy a gift for his new girl friend's birthday
and as they had only started dating, after careful
consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the
right note: personal, but not too personal. Accompanied by the
girl friend's younger sister, he went to Herrod's and bought a
pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for
herself. During the wrapping, however, the clerk got the items
mixed up and the sister got the gloves and the girl friend got
the panties. The guy sent the package to the girl friend with
the following note:

I chose these because I noticed you are not in the habit of
wearing any in the evening. If it had not been for your sister,
I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she
wears the short ones that are easier to remove. These are a
delicate shade, but the sales clerk that helped me has a pair
that she has been wearing for the past three weeks and they are
hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked
really smart. I wish I was there to put them on for you the
first time, as no doubt other hands will come into contact with
them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them
off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they
will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how
many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you
will wear them for me Friday night.

All my love.

PS: The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little
fur showing.

A teenager came to baby-sit a boy. The boy asks her if he could touch her. She said ok. Then he said could I touch your boobs. She said yes. Then he said could I stick my finger in your Belly Button. She said yes. Then she said that was not my belly button and he said that was not my finger.