Lone Ranger was captured by Geronimo. He tied the Lone Ranger to a stake. Geronimo asks, "Kemosabe, you have last request? You want a cigarette maybe?"

Lone Ranger replies, "I just want to talk to my horse Silver."

"Strange request, Kemosabe, but okay." Silver comes up to the Lone Ranger, he whispers in his ear and Silver bolts off into the Sunset.

Three hours later, Silver returns with 3 naked women on his back. The Lone Ranger says, " Oh shit Silver, I said posse!"

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
I don't know why you're shaking, she's gonna eat me!

A teenage girl confessed: ‘Mom, I’m pregnant.’ ‘How?’ huffed the mother. ‘What did I tell you about sex?’ “That I should take measures. Well, that’s what I did! I took measures and went with the biggest.

A businessman and his secretary, overcome by passion, go to his house for an early-afternoon quickie. “Don’t worry,” he assures her, “my wife is out of town on a business trip, so there’s no risk.” As things get hot and heavy, the secretary reaches into her purse and suddenly gasps, “We have to stop! I forgot to bring birth control!” “No problem,” he replies, “I’ll get my wife’s diaphragm.” After a few minutes of searching, he returns to the bedroom in fury. “That witch!” he exclaims. “She took it with her! I always knew she didn’t trust me!”