Little Johnny and the little girl next door are in love. One day Johnny goes to his mother and tells her that the two are getting married. She thinks this is absolutely adorable and asks "well Johnny where are the two of you going to live?" He says they can live in her room. "And how are you going to support your new wife?" Johnny's mother asks. Johnny tells her the two of their allowances combined should be enough to support two six year olds. "Well what will you do if you have a baby?" Johnny look at her, shrugs his shoulders and says, “well we've been lucky so far"

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question: “Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it. “Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?" "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner."
The teacher fainted......

In school the students were learning about gardening tools and little Johnny, Jennifer and Daniel raise their hands when the teacher held up a picture. She called on Jennifer. Jennifer said that is a shovel. The teacher said " very good”. The teacher held up another picture. She called on Daniel. Daniel said “ that is a hose". The teacher held up another picture. This time little Johnny was the only one raising his hand, so she had to call on little Johnny. Little Johnny said that is a rake. “No” said the teacher that is a hoe. Little Johnny was kind of upset and said, That’s not a hoe cause my sister is a ho and she looks nothing like that!!

Little Johnny was bored and he was bugging his mother, so she said "Johnny, why don't you go across the street and watch the builders work? Maybe you will learn something. When he came home his mother asked; did you learn anything? Little Johnny replied, "Well, first you put the door up. Then the S## of a B doesn't fit, so you have to take the c### sucker down. Then you have to take a c### hair off each side and put the mothe## back up. Johnny’s mother is shocked and says, "You wait till your dad comes home." When Johnny's dad got home, Mom told him to ask Johnny
what he learned across the street. Johnny repeated the whole story and his dad said, "Johnny, you go outside and get a switch.” Johnny replied, "F### you, that's the electricians job."