A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on display. The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."

The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."

The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."

Two ladies were out driving in the Virginia countryside fifty miles from Washington D.C. One of them pointed out two naked men in a field masturbating each other. "Look" she said, "two Democrats jerking each other off."
"How do you know they're Democrats? Her friend asked.
"If they were Republicans, they'd be fucking a crowd of poor people.

Why is Clinton so interested in the events in the Middle East?
Because he thinks the Gaza Strip is a topless bar!

Two crocodiles that haven't seen each other for a while run into each other in the Ottawa river. One says to the other you're looking pretty skinny, what are you eating? There's not much to eat but politicians, and once you shake the shit out of them, all there is left is a briefcase and an asshole.