Fearing that she might be a hemophiliac, the prostitute went to see her doctor.
“It’s awful,” she says. “Every time I get even a small cut, it takes days for the bleeding to stop.”
“I see,” said the doctor. “And how much do you loose when you get your period?”
She thought for a moment, and then answered, “About a grand.”

In recent years, more money has been spent on breast implants and Viagra that on Alzheimer’s disease research, leading one to wonder: By the year 2035, will there be a large number of people wandering around with big breast and erections who can’t remember what to do with them?

One Payday, Mr. O'Henry Good Bar an Airhead wanted a Bit O’ Honey, and he wanted it Good & Plenty! So he asked Mary Jane Hershey to meet him behind the Powerhouse, at the intersection of 5th Avenue, Clark & York hoping for a little Almond Joy. After a few Kisses and acknowledgement of her Charms he began to feel her Mounds and her Nips with his Butterfinger causing his Tootsie Roll go from snack size to king size, it was a Whopper. He let out a little Snicker, feeling himself quite the Smarty and a happy Chuckle when his watchamacallit Zero-end into Mary Jane's Kit Kat, she was Bubblicious eventually causing a Pop Rocks a Starburst and then a Milky Way! She screamed, “Oh-h-h-h Henry you’re the best, even better than M&M, Mike & Ike, Black Jack and the 3 Musketeers put together!!!!” I'm Forever Yours” she sighed and blew warm kisses to his PixStix and Zagnuts. By & by she became a little Chunky with a Jelly Belly and nine months later out popped Baby Ruth, Peter Paul & Dot. They were all Cry Babies! AND that's how O'Henry became a Sugar Daddy and Mary Jane became a Sweet Tart!!!!

Bill and Doug were having a beer at the neighborhood bar.
"What's the matter?" asked Bill of his buddy. "You look kind of down."
"My wife just told me that my lovemaking is just like a news bulletin."
"Why's that?" "Because it's brief, unexpected and usually a disaster."