An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes, the old man cane slips on the floor and he falls.

As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby turns to him and says, “ Sir if you put
a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."

The old man snaps back, “Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today

Three guys went to a striptease joint. The young lady on stage, wearing only thongs and a smile came up to the First guy and perform her dance for him. He took out $100.00, and slapped it on her right cheek, it, stuck. Then she proceeded to the Second guy did her same dance and the Second guy took out $100.00 and slapped it on her left cheek, it stuck. She then went to the Third guy and performs her dance. The Third guy pulled out his wallet, only to realize that he did not have any cash so he took his debt card and swiped it between her cheeks and took the $200.00.

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a
pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying
on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
"Quick," said the woman to her lover," into the closet!” and she pushed
him in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom
discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked
"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.
"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.
"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man
replied. "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said,........ "Those little bastards."

A man wanted his bull and a cow to mate; he tried everything but couldn't get the too together. So he went to get some advise from a farmer who had the same problem. The farmer told he to t put his hand up the cow’s pussy and then rub his hand around the bulls nose. He went home and did this and then the cow and bull were at it none- stopping. He went home and wondered if it would work on humans so he rubbed his hand around his wife’s pussy and rubbed it around his face and he got the biggest bone ever so he woke his wife up and said look! She turned to him and said, “ You have just woken me up to show me you have a nose bleed?”