There was this couple who had been married for 50
years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one
morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, "Just
think, honey, we've been married for 50 years."

"Yeah," she replied, "Just think, fifty years ago we were
sitting here at this breakfast table together."

"Yep," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here
naked as jaybirds fifty years ago."

"Well," Granny snickered, "What do you say... should we
get naked?"

Sure enough, the two stripped down to the buff and sat
down at the table.

"You know, honey," the little old lady replied breathlessly,
"My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty
years ago."

"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your
coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

One night, a man and his wife were watching TV. It was about breast implants.
The wife said:” I wish I had bigger breast” the man said:” you don’t have to get
silicone breasts, just wipe between your breast with toilet paper”. How would
that work the wife asked? The man said: well, you have been wiping your butt for 50
years and its got bigger!!!!!!!

One day a gay man goes in for his doctor's appointment and asks the doctor, "Do you have anything to make hair grow on my chest?" The doctor immediately grabs a jar of vaseline and says,” if you get a friend to rub this on your chest everyday, within a month or two you'll start to see some growth. The man replies,” Well if that was true, I'd have a pony tail coming out my ass!"

Sheri's husband was about to rake the leaves when he noticed that the rake was missing. He looked at his wife through the window getting ready to take a shower. He whistled to get her attention and asked her where the rake was. She didn’t understand so he pointed to his eye (I), knee (need), and motioned like he was raking the leaves. Sheri said Oh. Then she told him where it was, but he couldn’t understand. So she decided to use sign language also. So she pointed to her eye, her left breast, her booty, and her pussy. He still didn’t understand so she did the motions again. Finally he couldn’t take anymore, so he went in the house, to the bathroom and asked her what she said. She said," I LEFT IT BEHIND THE BUSH!"